It’s not you. I promise. 

I walked into Friday’s microbiology exam hoping for the best. 

I felt confident. Sure of myself. 

I had studied hard. This was going to be it. 

Finally – this study approach was going to be the one. I was finally going to see results. 

I knew everything for the exam. I was ready. 

I start the test. Confident and composed. Ready to get that ‘A’!

Let’s do this!

First question. 

Hmm – I remember this topic in my notes. but the best answer? Not sure. 

Oh well. I’ll take my best guess. The first question was probably difficult for everyone. 

Question two. Okay … not 100% sure here either. 

I’ll take another educated guess. 

Question three…

Oh boy – was this even in the notes? 

I start to curse under my breath. Why would that darn professor ask a question he didn’t teach? 

But better keep on moving – plenty more questions to get right! 

And I continued. 

But with each question, my confidence took a nosedive. 

Question 4– have to guess here too
Question 5 – I know this one. But man – do I only know 20% of the exam?
Question 6 – This test is harder than I thought
Question 18 – Did we even learn this?
Question 25 – I’m running out of time
Question 40 – I’m hoping I just passed at this point. 

I click submit as time was running out. Praying to at least get an “average” score. 

The screen finishes loading …

… 72.5%. 

Yikes. 

Class average? 82%

I was demoralized. Frustrated. Embarrassed. 

Was this not for me?

Was I even smart enough to be a doctor? 

I studied even longer hours this time. 

I tried a different study method. 

And I thought I knew everything. 

But once again – I was tired, below average, and unsure of myself. 

I couldn’t remember all of that information I worked so hard “learning”. 

I was pissed!

I was spending 8-10 hours a day studying. And still no results!

What gives? 

I was angry because I knew I shouldn’t be studying this much. 

It wasn’t sustainable. I was burnt out. And only just a few months into medical school.

But if anything my grades showed that I needed to spend more time. 

Arghh so frustrating!

There had to be a better way

This was me about 5 years ago.

I was unsure, doubtful, tired, and stressed. 

That motivated college student looking to becoming a great doctor – all but gone. 

And to make matters worse – I still had years of schooling and training ahead of me. 

I had to make a change. 

And thankfully I did.

The thing is…

… So many medical students (like myself) have spent hours and hours, and gone through countless study methods and resources…

Only to continue struggling thinking that THEY are the problem. 

It isn’t right. And I’m done pretending there’s not a big problem here.